PRAYER

This song is my prayer today. I just want to give it all to Him and trust in Him. He knows what is best for my life. He has never left me, even in my darkest time; He has always kept me safe.
Today has been an interesting day. I was up late again last night talking with someone who has become a very dear friend to me. Situations have risen and seemed out of control. But I know God is faithful. I have had problems giving everything to God before. Last night was one of those nights you just wish never happened. But it did. First my power cord to my computer decided it didn't want to work anymore. And for those of you who know me, my laptop battery doesn't work. So I have to rely on that cord every day. So that was the first thing last night. Well ok, not the first thing, the first thing was I wasn't feeling well and went into the bathroom to find that I was out of tp. I thought I had an extra roll, but I was wrong. Luckily though I went in search of one after the power cord died and found a roll in the security office. I'm glad I have made them my friends. So anyways, the power issue is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I sat on the floor just letting the tears pour out. I was crying so hard. But for me, tears = healing.
So, here I am at work, where there is an extra power cord that I am borrowing until I can get a replacement. I opened the laptop and I have a widget on my desktop of Bible verses. I get a new one every day. And as I am sitting here reading it, I can't help but think, I don't do this nearly enough. Colossians 3:17 says, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Here we are, just celebrating Thanksgiving, and I realize just how many people (including myself) do not give as much thanks every day as we should. All I know, right now, is I have so much to be thankful for. God has been doing so many things in my life and in my family's lives, that I can't not thank Him. For the past few months I have been praying for my brother. Okay I should say for the past few years we have been praying. But in particularly we have been praying a lot the last few months. My brother and I had a falling out (never lend money to siblings, parents are ok because they do everything else for you, but not siblings). I love my brother. But if you can't tell, I did lend him money. The first time I did it, he paid me back. Actually he paid me back almost double. So I thought I could trust him and I lent him 200 dollars. Plus I had given him money for new tires for my car. Well, he said he'd have the money. Time went on and he didn't call. So I started calling him. He was avoiding every call. It got to the point where he would pick up the phone and hang up so it wouldn't go to his voicemail. I was getting frustrated. My mom paid me back the money for the tires, but here was my savings (I was saving for a new laptop), completely depleted. I wanted to give up honestly. I was sick of it all. I was hurting over this. But deep in my heart I felt God telling me not to give up. Keep praying for him. So I did. I quit calling and kept praying. I asked my classmates and friends to pray as well. His birthday was last week, (which I had forgotten by the way). But I was going through my phone list and decided to give it a try. I called him. HE ANSWERED. Needless to say I was floored. But even more so, he was at my house! He was with my family again. So we talked for a few minutes and hung up. Well he had to work the days around Thanksgiving so he didn't come home. I was disappointed but I understood. Well, yesterday, while my friend and I were driving back to campus, I called him again. We talked for a good while. I didn't bring up the money, because honestly, if he doesn't have it, I'm not going to hound him for it. So we talked and he said he would try to come see me this coming weekend. I'm not holding my breath, but it would be nice. But as we talked, he mentioned he had moved and was now living above a bar. My brother inherited my father's old drinking habits. So hearing my brother say this was beyond scary for me. So I came right out and asked him. He told me he is hardly drinking at all. He said he has one or two here or there, but he knew he couldn't do it anymore, and had even lost around 20lbs so far since he stopped putting it away every day. I started crying when he told me this. If he is being completely serious (which I plan on asking my parents about the weight loss on Tuesday) I am so proud of him and know this is one step in the right direction. We can't stop praying, my brother isn't saved. He grew up in a good home, even though things were hard on us. My sister's death and my father's drinking almost ruined us. And in the time, it ruined who he could have been. But he's 30 now. He needs to grow up. I pray God will show him that He has been there all along for my brother, and probably saved his life a time or two. My brother should be in jail. He should be dead. But he's not. And it's thanks to God.
I hope these words from this song become a prayer like they are for me right now.

My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it's in You
My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it's in You
I will praise You with all of my life
I will praise You with all of my strength
With all of my life
With all of my strength
All of my hope is in You
My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it's in You
My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it's in You
In You, it is in You!