Thanksgiving and my ramblings

So I am sitting here thinking about everything that has been going on lately. Thanksgiving 2007 has come and gone and all I can think about is how much I am blessed. Even though I miss being in a relationship and wish I had a man to care about me, I know how blessed I am to have my friends. My friends are absolutely amazing and I don’t know where I’d be right now without them. My time at home has been good. I brought a friend home with me for break and it’s been nice spending time with him and spending time with my family. I am still learning everything God has for me. Something I am struggling with right now is how I look. I am not feeling like I can attract a guy like some girls can. It’s hard when you find yourself liking someone, but be told that you are just a friend and they feel like you are like a sister or you just aren’t their body type. I think that one hurts the worst. Being told I am not good enough is something I have always heard. Sometimes I just want to feel what it’s like to be cared about by that certain man. I want to be held in strong arms; arms that I know will protect me and stay by my side when I need him. I don’t want to sound like a complete romantic but I honestly just want a man I can care for and who will care for me. Being alone sometimes just hurts. The thing that hurts the most is waiting for God to give me that special person. I know I can wait. But as humans we do not like to be patient. Patience is something we all have problems with. I know there is someone out there that I know I can put up with for the rest of my life, but the patience of waiting for him and being myself are the struggles I put up with for every guy I have ever met. I know I talk a lot about guys in this bog, but that’s what has been going on in life for me right now. I’m not perfect. I know that. But I want someone who will see me for me and want me for who I am and not try to change me. I have finally learned who I am and am waiting for the man to know who he is and come together as one someday. I honestly just want to feel cared for and feel safe with. I have crushes on guys, but am tired of wondering if they feel the same way because I cannot come forward and just tell them. In the past when I have done that it has turned out badly, and these guys are amazing friends. I can't lose the at this point in life. I earned a lot on my own at the beginning of the year when my friends had gone separate ways. Now my friends have multiplied and the ones I have now are amazing. I don't want to lose even one of them at this point. They all mean so much to me and I know just what it means to have real friends. God has truly blessed me with amazing friends and at this moment in time I won't do anything to ruin that friendship between us right now.