Gorgeous Days

Hmmm... Today is beautiful! I don't have much to say other than all my hw for the semester is done and now is finals. 1 week left. Than my last semester. God help!

911

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Am I a Christian?

Recently, this question has been coming to my head a lot.

Am I a Christian?

Yes I have received Christ into my heart.

Yes I believe Christ died on the cross for my sins.

I believe the Bible.Does that make me a Christian?

In most senses of the word, yes. But, is it just that? A word? Over the last year or so I've been told I'm too religious. My response was to say "I'm not religious." Those people just stare at me. I do not, and will not consider myself religious. The Pharisees were religious. All the men who crucified Christ were religious. And yes, I know it was all supposed to happen. But seriously. Many years ago, I heard a preacher say to the congregation, "Religion KILLED Christ." I can't help but agree with that statement. God is amazing. I have seen him do miracles. I have seen the Love of God truly in people. I hope that I show the Love of God truly in myself.

I believe that the word Christian has become just a word. It's not held with any type of respect any more. It kills me to say that. But I see it everywhere I turn. People are constantly saying that Christians are hypocrites, and so forth. I have been sitting in classes and chapels, where this has come up. I don't know about you, but I'm embarassed to call myself a Christian. You may ask why? My answer is simple. I don't want to be labeled as...."Oh she's a Christian.. I've heard enough about THOSE types of people... just walk away" type of conversations. Because not every "Christian" is like that.

I want to be known as that woman who loves God with all her heart and yearns to know more. I don't want to be known as just another one of those Christians. I want to be knows as a woman who has her life so embedded in God, that the man she's supposed to be with, has to find God so wholeheartedly, before he can find her. That is who I want to be.

I found these definitions in the dictionary of what is a Christian?

1)one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ

2)disciple

3$)a member of one of the Churches of Christ separating from the Disciples of Christ in 1906

4)a member of the Christian denomination having part in the union of the United Church of Christ concluded in 1961

By the first two definitions, I am considered a Christian. Will i denounce being a Christian? NO

But if someone comes up and asks me to tell them. I will be honest with them. I will tell them who I am in Christ. And that's all that matters.

Ghandi said it best. "I like your Christ. I don't like your Christians. They are nothing like your Christ!"

Spring

It has been over a month since I last posted. I haven't kept up with this as much as I had wanted. Life has been a bit topsy-turvey lately. I just don't know what is going on right now. On a good note, I have one semester left and I graduate! I am so excited. Only a few classes to finish and I am out of here.
Other than that, things seem at a low point for me right now. I have been dealing with a bit of depression. I don't want to be around a lot of people, I want to just be left alone, yet at the same time, in less than 2 weeks from today, our school holds their annual Spring Banquet. I have a dress, but I don't have a ticket, or a date. Do I want to go? Of course! It's my senior year. I want to go. But, because of not wanting to go alone, I am going to be spending another Friday night at home. My friends are all talking about it, trying on their dresses every day, fixing their hair this way and that way to find the perfect hair-do for that night. Me? My dress is sitting in my closet, for a possible re-sell. I didn't pay much for it. But it's still a pretty dress.
My heart has been going all over the place as well. I was talking to a friend this weekend, about where I saw myself 5 years ago. It wasn't where I am now. I imagined myself married, if not, in a serious relationship contemplating marriage. I was close. But I look at it now, I wasn't ready, am not ready at this moment to get married. I would love to be in a relationship though. I'm lonely. I am very lonely. But at this point, I am just waiting to see what God has for me. Am I ready for what He has? YES!! But, in all honestly, I am tired of being single. I'll be 23 in a little over a month. I'll be graduating college in 9 months. It seems almost unreal.
Okay that is everything. I'll stop talking now!

Time

Time has past. I seem to have gotten crazy busy. But, this time, in all my running around, I am giving my time to God and HE is amazing. My friends have been great.

It hasn't been without it's challenges though. My health has been a bit crazy. The colds I have gotten have been awful. Literally just putting me right to bed for days. This last one has me pretty bad.
I don't have much else to say. Bye

Friends

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our hearts and we are never, ever the same."
This quote is one I found my senior year of high school when writing my speech. And I have used it many times since than.
God places people into our lives for reasons. Those people may be your friends forever, but they only be there a semester or a week. It's kind of ironic, that the guy who helped cause the breakup of my friendship last semester with one of my few female friends, is now someone I'm not speaking to. Immaturity has just blossomed. I made a request, which to me didn't seem that big of a deal, but it was to him. With that request, things just kept going and going. And I had to walk away from it. And honestly, I don't miss it all that much. I can be around him, and be fine, but as long as I don't have to hold a true one on one conversation with him, everything is fine.

School is going good. Things have been busy. I have to admit, I have been really lonely. Just a bit homesick.
But I thank God for my suitemate. She has been absolutely amazing. I love her!

Time

I have realized that I haven't kept this up as much as I had wanted. But things sure have been interesting. Christmas break was good. As I mentioned in previous posts, the day I preached, I was very proud of myself. Now I just have to remember that I can do it, and continue to do it especially when I am standing up in front of a classroom giving a presentation.
Spending the time at home was a blessing. I hadn't realized just how lonely I was for my family. For the longest time we had been praying for renewal in my family. Things had been hard where my brother was concerned for the longest time. Christmas brought him home for almost 2 weeks. Now, mind you, those 2 weeks were way too long with a brother who would pour a glass of milk and leave it sitting for days. We actually had decent conversations and had a little fun together. Money was never brought up, but at this point, as long as he is decent to me, I won't say anything about it. I even gave him a Bible for Christmas. Let's pray it gets some use.

Over break, some issues came up that we thought I wouldn't be able to return to college. So through prayer and job hunting (unsuccessful around Christmastime), I decided to do some searching. 3 days before students were to be back at campus, I found out my financial aid came through and I was able to return. So things got crazy. Now I am here, started work Monday, and am sitting at work right now. A part of me was ready to stay home with my family, but a big part of me wants to finish.

So coming back to school, I told very few people I was coming back. So upon arriving on campus I surprised a good number of my friends, all who I think were happy to see me. Today I was able to see the last person (he arrived back at school late due to family vacation). I was so happy to see him.
I think God is going to teach me a lot this semester. All I want to do is avoid drama. That is the last thing i need in my life right now. And unfortunately it has already started. 2 of my best guy friends have been acting strange. I can't explain it but it's there. Even as close as I am with those two, one still had to think something was going on with me and the other. Why is it I can't be friends with a guy unless I am dating him? All my life I have been friends with the guys. I haven't had many girl friends. Which has made some things hard. But I still love my guys. But once, just once, I want to be friends with a guy and not have people think we are dating. I don't want to date right now. I want to finish my last 2 semesters and get out of school. Guys are not important right now. But friensd are. If i have to drop my friends completely and focus on God and school, I will. I don't want to, but if that is what God is asking me to do, I'll do it.

My semester seems like it will be ok. I have a lot of large projects due, but fortunately they are not all due on the same day or even same week as the other large projects. I have already started on some homework and want to get ahead for a while.

Blessings